Simmering in Your Own Suffering Stew?
For the last few months my laptop has been a mess. Everything moved slowly. Every time I opened an app, my screen would freeze. Instead of doing anything about it, I let it ride and suffered. I convinced myself that it was broken.
Earlier this week, I decided I had enough. I sat down to investigate and realized my storage was so full that my laptop couldn’t install either of the necessary system upgrades.
I deep cleaned my storage, ran the updates, and voila ✨ my laptop is good as new ✨
I literally suffered through MONTHS of this because of not wanting to look at what was going on. In the end, it wasn't broken - it just needed my attention.
Do you see the metaphor here?
Sometimes we think we’re broken or that there is no life beyond the reality we’re in…when really, our storage is too full and we need a system upgrade.
Sometimes it looks like feeling slightly outside of your own life. Like going through the motions while something inside is dimmed. Like consuming more than creating. Like saying yes when your body whispered no. Like being tired in a way sleep doesn’t solve. Like tolerating dynamics you’ve outgrown. And the thing about being full is that no new update can land until space is made.
Honestly sometimes that feeling of having enough of our own nonsense is one of the best places to be. Not from a place of self hatred or shame, but the recognition that we’ve been simmering in our own suffering stew for long enough and something needs to change.
It’s like your soul is screaming, “Remember your co-creative power babe!” I think so much of what we call healing is really just shortening the gap between forgetting and remembering.
“Power” has become a colonized thing of domination and destruction. But here I mean power in the fierce feminine embodiment of the way a river can carve stone. A way that reminds us we are boundless expressions of spirit existing within a body that is capable of anything.
(Nuance worth noting here: sometimes we just need to be IN IT. That gets to be part of the journey, too. A dear sister of mine reminded me that sometimes the prayer of “God, I’m suffering” is enough.)
Back to the point… Just in case you happen to be in your own version of suffering stew, I pray this can be your reminder. You are so much more powerful than you’re giving yourself credit for.
Inquiries, from my heart to yours:
What feels heavy, cluttered, or stagnant in your inner world right now? Where are you simmering in something that no longer fits?
What is one way you could begin to clear space?
If you trusted in your co-creative power, what system upgrade would you initiate this month?
If your soul could whisper one reminder to you right now, what would she say?