When All Else Fails, Sing
When I was younger, my sister used to joke that I had a slow emotional metabolism. It used to hurt my feelings a bit. But, as I open up my newsletter to write for the first time since July…I think she might be right, and I'm okay with that.
On July 3rd, my Reishi dog injured himself. This feels like a serious understatement for what went down.
Scott, my husband, and I were in a flow in the kitchen. We made banana bread, as an offering to an elder who invited us into a lodge ceremony, along with cherry gummies and ginger lemon ice cubes.
We were almost done when we brought out Reishi’s nemesis, the vacuum. He tried to scootch by and in the process, knocked over the cats’ ceramic food bowl. The broken glass sliced open the back of his leg; lacerating his achilles tendon and two arteries.
In the moment, neither of us really knew what happened. I heard Scott say “we need to go to the hospital.” Then, I turned to see blood – on the wall, the couch, and Reishi. We both realized the situation was urgent. Funny how when you experience true urgency, it illuminates how silly the “urgency” of emails or anything else mundane is.
The only vet open was an hour away. At that point, there was nothing we could do but drive and pray.
The three towels we brought with us were soaked with blood. For the last bit of the drive, I felt Reishi’s spirit transitioning. I sang while Scott held Reishi’s head, keeping him awake.
Wild how in the middle of a life or death kinda moment, the only thing I knew to do was sing.
We walked into the waiting room looking like we just murdered someone. They took Reishi in the back to stabilize him and a woman hugged me while praying into my ear. It was as dramatic as it sounds. They brought Scott and I into a separate room and we both finally let ourselves cry.
Reishi went into surgery and we got to say goodnight. Even with his tail completely soaked in blood, it was still wagging to see us. Animals are angels on Earth.
Our home was spotless and smelled like copal. To our surprise, our soul fam completely cleaned and cleansed the house for us. A topic for another newsletter: build the village.
We both knew we needed to let the somatic imprint unwind, so we each took some space to tend to our processes. “It’s either now, or in the bucket later,” we joked.
The next morning, Reishi was discharged with strict orders for complete rest for an indefinite amount of time.
So, here we are, almost four months and many vet visits later. We still have to very slowly transition into four legged life, but it feels like we can finally exhale.
Reishi is a weirdo, but he’s my soul dog. He’s so attached that he even accompanies me in the dream realms most nights. What I’m trying to emphasize here is that I love him, and the shock of almost losing another being I love with my whole heart was deep.
My heart has needed these last few months to metabolize.
I believe it's okay to let yourself pause for as long as you need to collect yourself. In a society that demands output, I’ve noticed that sometimes there can be a rush to see gratitude or even the spiritual blessing before letting yourself be human.
Spirituality is not separate from life. It brings us closer to our humanity.
Some of the most profound growth comes from allowing both to be true. Holding the duality of the soul lesson alongside the realness of being human.Grace is what carries us through the tension.
Grace isn’t something you earn when you “figure it all out.”
Grace is what holds you while you’re still in it.
So, that’s where I’ve been the last couple months – learning to give myself more grace.
I pray you can give yourself grace, whatever season you’re in.
And when all else fails, sing.
Inquiries, from my heart to yours:
Where in your life might you be rushing to “move on,” instead of allowing yourself to fully metabolize your emotions or an experience?
What does giving yourself grace look like — not in theory, but in practice?
When you think about slowing down, what parts speak up inside you? What do they need to feel safe?
If you listened closely, what song would your soul be singing to guide you through this season?